Gasping

Been screaming out loud in silence for a while now
But who am I to blame
I can only keep up this facade for to much longer
I know I look stronger then I use too
But it feels like I am getting weaker

When I do feel a jolt of life I am rejected
My mind is scrambled
Like Im trying to make words
But I only have one letter
And its not even a vowel
But I vowed to this commitment

So I am in it trying to find my way around it
But I feel surrounded
The exhaustion is unexplainable
Realizing what I need physically is
Is indeed unobtainable

So I stand corrected
Looking in all direction
Realizing the section that I am in
Is mine alone
And thats how I will always be
There will always be parts of me
That even I dont understand
So the expectation of others
Is so slim to none that there really is none

But boy doesn't feel good to breath
When you see that first leaf on the tree
Getting ready for spring
Know that the air will be clear

I guess I gotta start all over from here